Alerted to a cancer diagnosis that would have gone undetected had it not been for a visit to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy, Jennifer’s unborn baby saved her life. This is her story:
I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer in 2018, and I am now in my 5th year in remission. Even though quite some time has passed, the entire experience still feels surreal.
My journey
In 2018, I was experiencing fatigue, bloatedness and pain in the abdomen area. At the time, I suspected that I was pregnant, so I went for a consultation with a gynaecologist. The gynaecologist confirmed my pregnancy, but at the same time, she also gave me a very perplexed look. She asked if I knew what the growth in my ovary was. The last time I had seen a gynaecologist before this was when I was pregnant with my first child, so I had not seen a gynaecologist during the 2 years in between my last pregnancy and this time around. Thus, I was not aware that there was a growth in the area. She told me that the growth was quite big, and was actually bigger than the baby, as the pregnancy was only at about 6-8 weeks. The gynaecologist asked me to come in for another scan in 2 weeks time to follow-up on the growth.
During the time between the first scan and the second scan, I began to experience an increasing amount of pain in the pelvic area. During the next visit to the gynaecologist, my gynaecologist noticed that the growth was still there , so she invited a co-gynaecologist from her practice to give a second opinion on my case. As I was lying there, all I heard was “she’s too young, let’s just monitor …” as they discussed my case. My gynaecologist mentioned she was not sure what it was but she did not like the look of it. . According to my Gynaecologist, the next course of action was to either do a biopsy or an MRI. However, an MRI is not ideal for the first trimester, and she explained that hospitals might not be willing to perform an MRI in the first trimester due to the risks such a procedure would pose to the baby.
I vividly remember that it had been during the period between the end of March and early April when I had to make a decision between seeking treatment quickly and keeping the baby safe.
I had a cousin who happened to be an oncologist. He recommended me to a gynae-oncologist to conduct some scans. The gynae-oncologist also advised that I would have to do an MRI. However, I was informed that I would have to sign a form that stated that the hospital would not be liable for any harm my baby experienced if I went for the MRI. Because I really wanted to keep the baby, I ultimately decided not to go through with the MRI. I told myself that I would wait it out, since at that point my baby was 10 weeks old, and the doctors had told me that it would be relatively safe to do the MRI after the first trimester. (13 weeks) So I went back to work and started going about my daily life, but the pain was getting more intense by the day. When I next saw the gynaecologist, she saw that I was turning pale and looked to be in a lot of discomfort, so she told me that it would be necessary to remove the growth as soon as possible. She immediately worked out an operating plan for me involving the gynae-oncologist in the event that they determined that it was a cancerous growth.
Seeing how much pain I was in, she told me “If you want, we can go into the OT (Operating Theatre) now.” However, at that point in time, I did not feel ready for the operation, so I declined. This occurred on a Friday and the operation was scheduled the following Monday. I remembered asking my doctor, “Next Wednesday is my birthday, can I go under the knife after my birthday instead?” However, my gynaecologist told me it was not possible because the surgery schedule was also subject to the availability of both my doctors,and they were only available on monday.
Over the weekend, I was in excruciating pain, and felt worried and confused. I had no idea what to expect from the operation. The doctors told me that they would be doing a “frozen section” procedure which is a biopsy conducted on the spot that would give information about whether the mass was benign or malignant with 80% accuracy. If it was malignant, the protocol was that the doctors would remove the fetus and the areas at risk, but if it was not malignant, it would be fine. I firmly told both my doctors that even if the growth was malignant, I did not want them to remove the baby, I wanted them to keep the baby inside me. Both doctors cautioned me that if it was malignant, I would still need to remove the baby later on. If they closed me up during this operation, I would have to return two weeks later to be operated on to remove the baby. I told them that I was mentally prepared for that eventuality, but I did not want my baby to be removed without my knowledge. I was very glad to have two excellent doctors who understood my concern.
When I was being wheeled into the operation room, I felt a lot of fear and had a lot of questions. Was it cancer? If it was cancer, how much time did I have left? Would I come out of the operation room alive? Will my baby survive the operation? If I have cancer, what will happen to my 1 year old? I was in a curtained off area just outside the Operating Theatre (OT) while waiting to be wheeled in, and I was crying profusely, all alone. I prayed. As I was being wheeled into the operating room,I told God, “I have no control over this, I surrender this situation to you, you gave me mine and my baby’s life, so I shall surrender both to you.” After I was wheeled into the OT and I was placed onto the operating table, and all the lights turned on. The operating team were in green but I could see a person cloaked in white walking behind them as if supervising the operation. I recognised the person to be Jesus as I could feel His presence. The night before, I had read the book of Mark and one of the passages was about a woman who touched the white cloak of Jesus, and she was healed of her bleeding of 12 years. I prayed and claimed the promise in Mark 5:34 “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed of your suffering”.
I held on to my gynaecologist’s hand, and saying, “Please keep my baby” and I reached out to touch the Man in white but I was knocked out by the effects of General Anaesthesia.
After the operation, my husband told me that both surgeons came out of the OT to inform him that the baby saved my life. The growth was a malignant tumour in the ovary, and it had been in the midst of rupturing . If it had ruptured, the cancer would have spread and it would have led to significant complications.,Thankfully they managed to remove the tumour in time. Ironically, I still do not know how long it took to grow to 7cm, if it had been growing over the span of the two years that I didn’t see my gynaecologist, or a few months because I had not experienced any pain before this It will always remain a mystery to me. If not for my pregnancy, I would not have gone to see a gynaecologist for a check up, and I would not have known that there was a growth in my ovary. At that point, biopsy results confirmed that it was stage 1C ovarian high grade cancer.
In May, around Mother’s Day, my gynaecologist gave me a call to ask if I would consider aborting the baby before I started chemotherapy. She explained that there would be risks if I underwent chemotherapy while the baby was still in utero, as they were not sure how the chemotherapy would affect the baby. There were a lot of unknowns. Also, if I was pregnant while they conducted chemotherapy, they might have to lower the dosage of chemotherapy drugs, to protect the pregnancy. However, if the dosage of chemotherapy drugs was lowered, it may not be effective enough to save me. In this case, the needs of the mother and the child were pitted against each other.
My husband and I are both christians, and we spent a lot of time praying, planning and considering all the options. Finally, we came to the conclusion that we should surrender everything to God. We believed that this child was really God sent because it was a miracle that the baby could be conceived despite the growth in my ovary. Even more amazingly, the tumour was attached to the left ovary, and the baby’s placenta was attached to the right side of the uterus, near the right ovary. So, they were able to remove the parts that they needed to without touching the baby. Before I was discharged from the hospital, a scan confirmed that the baby still had a heartbeat. His survival was a miracle. As we thought through everything, especially considering the fact that I was able to conceive the baby and how he survived the biopsy surgery, we decided that we did not want to take this life away. If God wanted to, he would take it away. As parents, we would surrender the child’s life to God, and we would not take away his life through abortion.
After we had made the decision, I told my gynaecologist that I would keep the baby while undergoing chemotherapy and she told me that if this was my decision, all the doctors would journey with me and support me, so I would have a multitask force of three doctors (gynaecologist, Gynae-oncologist and medical oncologist) monitoring me.
I started my chemotherapy in May, and finished it in September. The baby was due in October. During the four to five months between May and September, I had support from my husband, family and friends, including Joann. I got to know Joann, the founder of the Brave Company, through my cousin’s friend who is Joann’s husband.
Joann had gone through a similar experience 10 years ago and I was immensely grateful to have someone who had gone through it before to share their experience with me. Most importantly, her story about how she overcame her circumstances and survived with her baby who came out safely and was living as a healthy 10 year old boy at the time. It was truly a miracle that someone who went through the same experience was totally well today with a son who was completely healthy as well. It brought a spark of light into that very sombre moment. Even when I started chemotherapy, Joann came and sat with me during one of the sessions and prayed with me. With every decision I made, God sent me support and encouragement and even people that I didn’t know.
Jennifer during chemotherapy
The nausea that came with chemotherapy, and the subsequent vomiting it induced was a side effect that my gynaecologist was especially concerned about, since if I was unable to keep food in my stomach it would affect the growth of my baby.Fortunately, although the side effects of chemotherapy treatment took a toll on me, generally I could still eat. I was very tired, so I rested a lot during that period, and I also drank a lot of water to hopefully pass out all the toxic medications in my body. Another concern that the doctors had was that the baby might be delivered prematurely, because of complications from the cancer treatment but my baby was delivered at 37 weeks, with a natural birth. The stereotype about people who have chemotherapy is that they don’t really have their hair, but my baby even came out with a full head of hair, crying away! I remember being concerned that I would not hear his cry when he came out, so hearing him cry and seeing his face was the most beautiful signifier of new life for me.
As he stared at me with his wide-eyed gaze, it was almost as though he was trying to tell me that he had gone through a lot while he was inside me, and wanted to tell me all about it! I was so so thankful that he was such a strong baby, and didn’t succumb to all the trauma I put him through, from the 4-5 hour surgery, to the MRI, chemotherapy and going under general anaesthetic, the fact that he was delivered as a healthy baby was a miracle!
A picture of Daniel Immanuel
We named him Daniel Emmanuel, God with me, because he was sent by God to alert me to the tumour in my body. The name Daniel comes from the bible story Daniel and the lion’s den, in which Daniel survived being thrown into a den full of lions. In the same way, Daniel Emmanuel was subjected to a lot of threats in the womb (similar to a lion’s den), which is how his name came about. In a way, He was sent by God to save his mummy in the nick of time.
How I told my family
We did not inform my immediate family until I had to go for the surgery, because everything was so uncertain before the surgery. It was only when they confirmed that it was cancer that I told them about it. My mother was quite shocked by the news, and I think she said something like “为什么会这样？” (Why did this happen?) she didn’t have any extreme reactions like crying in front of me but she was a bit downcast and didn’t say very much.
My Changing perspective on life
After this experience, my perspective of life has changed, and continues to change, even today. Initially, I asked the doctors how I got the cancer. Was it my diet? My lifestyle? Excessive stress? They told me that it was almost impossible to pinpoint one specific factor that lead to the development of the tumour, and they could not identify the main reason. I also felt very bad because my elder child was only 1.5 years old, and was at the age when she really needed her mother, but I couldn’t care for her nor breastfeed her during chemotherapy. I also could not breastfeed my second baby after he was born, because of health concerns. I resolved to take care of my health better and lead a more balanced lifestyle.
Another realisation I had was that I had lived to share this testimony with people. I hope that by sharing my personal experience, more people will come to know the good news of God, and share about the miracle that God granted to me
While there have been others that have gone through this experience, it is still a rarity to be pregnant and go through ovarian cancer, so I also wanted to provide this story for other mothers who may be facing this situation. Our bodies may be physically weak, but our minds can be at their strongest because we have surrendered our concerns and anxieties to God, and we know that what lies before us is not within our control, but instead within the hands of God. Our weakness becomes a strength, because it helps us to be humble and be able to lean on God and relinquish control over our lives.
Another lesson I learnt from this experience is while praying for healing is important, in the christian context, we must also not reject treatment or ignore professional advice. Indeed God can heal supernaturally but He can heal through the hands of doctors all the same. The woman who touched the cloak of Jesus was credited by Jesus to be a woman of faith and it was also mentioned that she sought treatment for her condition beforehand. To me, this means that seeking treatment and having faith can go hand in hand.
Lastly, I told myself that I would have to learn to live every day of my life with gratitude, and I should not wait too long to do something. Although the gynaecologist said I was “too young,” there’s really no such thing as “too young” anymore? Although the disease was more common in older women, it happened to me in my thirties. Now, I realise that there’s no way of predicting what will happen, nor when it will be the last day of my life. If there’s something that you really want to do, don’t procrastinate. Also, if you want to show your love and care for someone, you should not wait too long to do it, because you never know when that person might be hit with an illness. In sum, I learned not to take time and people for granted.
Challenges and meaningful aspects of my Journey
There were many challenging aspects of my journey, but the most challenging thing was trying to figure out how to save myself and my baby at the same time, and thinking about whether I had to choose between mine and my baby’s life. The challenge was also complicated by the fact that I had a one-year-old child, and making the decision to keep my unborn baby with the threat of something happening to me, would also be unfair to my child because she still needs her mother.
The most meaningful aspect of my journey was that I was drawn closer to God, and I was overwhelmed by the support and love I experienced from my loved ones who have journeyed with me. It brought the relationships closer together, and taught me that work was not everything. There were so many people around me who also deserved my unwarranted attention. Life is much more than work, and life is short. If you asked me now if I have the courage to go through it again, I would say I don’t think I do. Every decision is a complete unknown, and each decision leads to another decision to be made.
How to support loved ones with cancer
At the time, I had a one-year-old child. My husband had to take care of both me and my child, so he had a lot on his plate. My mother helped tremendously with the household chores like cooking, cleaning and helping to look after my child. Although she was probably very sad, she was very stoic and practical, and rolled up her sleeves and managed everything so well that I had nothing to worry about. It truly was a mother’s love for her daughter. My husband was also juggling a lot, he had to send me to and fro each chemotherapy treatment, and care for me after those treatment sessions, because I felt very weak. He would also take my daughter to and from school. My mother-in-law would also help to cook and she would get my husband to bring it back for me. My friends would arrange to visit me periodically to spend time with me or pray for me. My aunt who was overseas, was also praying for me and tried to keep my spirits up. These thoughtful gestures made me feel loved and cared for.
Advice for a person with cancer
It varies from individual to individual, but personally, I was glad that I did not coop myself up and restrict the information from my friends and family. There was a point in time when I was hesitant to share about my condition because I was quite depressed about it and did not want to be stigmatised because of my condition. Having gone through it, I would like to share that “it’s okay to not be okay!” It is alright to receive help and ask for help, and my cancer journey became quite a nice memory now, because of God who has made it possible, and the people who have rallied around me so that i did not go through this journey alone. Being sick is torturous, and to go through this journey without being able to talk to someone and share about it with others, it would be too much suffering to bear. I believe a cancer patient wants to come out of their experience stronger, so if you wallowed in too much self-pity and isolated yourself from the world, you would not give others the chance to bring out that positivity within yourself. The world will be a better place if we can help one another by providing a safe space to heal physically, emotionally and spiritually.
